As time goes by, I am finding myself alternating between a plethora of feelings. I am so excited for Alecia! I know she will have a wonderful time. She is going to grow spiritually, physically, socially and emotionally! She is going to come home with such a stronger testimony (and it isn't weak now)! I have no idea what she has in store in the future but I know that she will be successful in all! There will be a day when she will be a Primary President, Young Women President, or Relief Society President. She will work in many leadership positions and she will raise up very strong children. The Lord is preparing her for something amazing!!!
I also find myself full of trepidation and yes even fear. I do not feel ready to have my beautiful daughter away from me for eighteen months. I can't imagine how hard it is going to be to not talk to her or hold her. I can't seem to grasp that she will truly be away. I know it but I really don't want to think about it. At those times, I turn to my Father in Heaven. Alecia is His daughter as well as mine! He loves her! He wants her to succeed! I may not be able to be there with her but I know that He will be there every step of her way! She will be guided, directed, and even protected. It is hard as a mother to turn your children over with complete faith. We have been a guiding influence in our children's life for a very long time. We held them that first time and fell in love. I remember when Alecia was born. She was such a beautiful little thing. I held her and immediately fell head over hills in love! That pink little bundle of joy had just been with our Father! She was perfect and clean. I was thankful for the opportunity to be a mother and knew that there would be a lot of work. Alecia has always been an easy child. She always wanted to do what is right. No matter what she strives for perfection. I have tried desperately to be able to keep up with her. So I know that she will excel as a missionary because she does so in every aspect of her life. Okay just so she doesn't get too big of a head she does have her trials and tribulations and she is not perfect; but she strives for perfection and that is what is asked of us. So in my times of fear I remember who she really is.... my sister and a daughter of my Heavenly Father. He loves us both and He will not fail us! I must trust in Him and not on my own understanding. He will give me comfort and He will guide us through all things.